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“An album for a hurting world. The world is in a lot of pain, over the years I’ve had my share, like everyone has. I’ve pulled together songs from personal inner struggles or history to try and empathise and help people pull through – that's this album.”

 

LYRICS BELOW

This is a link

to the VIDEOS of the album

1: YOU DONT SAY

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

Eb   F#  Bb

I want to love you

But the truth is in the way

the truth gets in the way

You want to love you 

That's what I want to say

That's what I want to say

 

Call me any time you please

But don't expect me there

Why do you want to find me

I know you know I know 

you don’t care

 

I was sure that I could

live without your smile

The truth is that I’ve been finished

for with you for quite a while

 

Yet it seems like just a moment away

That it all could be ok

That's my punishment for 

Turning what I’d say

Returning what you say

For finding out a way

From whatever I don't say

 

What has love become

It’s being willing to die for someone

That you yourself want to kill anyway

 

Usually For whatever U don’t say

 

12345678 all the children want to get away

                  into government/politics

 

 

2. AN AMERICAN STAR (sympathy for the journalist)

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

F  Dm

 

F  Dm   Bb   Gm

Ab  Fm   Db   Dbm

Bb  Gm   Eb   Ebm

C  Am   F   Fm

Db  Db/Bb   F#   F#m

 

- “Hello I’ve come to do an interview on you

  I hope that’s alright”

 

I had a job at a local rag 

citing everything she’d say

I fell in love before we met 

which for a journalist never pays

So when the day came along in a restaurant 

And I heaped upon her praise 

she coldly asked me what I want 

I said "tell me ‘bout the early days"

 

She said - (sigh);

my mother would never leave without 

her favourite fender strat

she rushed us both to the hospital 

in my fathers old black cat

I was born at the side of the road 

my friend and that was that

 

- "well tell me where did you grow up"

(Sigh) Yes I did “grow up!” and in a neighbourhood 

where emotion is not revealed 

maybe years have passed, I think you've guessed, 

still I have not healed

But I would borrow my mothers strat

and sneak out to a club in “the old black cat” x 2

 

Born - how!?  In an Englishman’s car

With a mothers guitar 

An American star is born

down, where the tears do not cry

But a voice in her eyes. 

And accompanying sighs are born...

 

Then she said something really quite strange and I saw it in her eyes

“I don’t believe in journalists, they ruin so many lives”

I said “I’m sorry, it’s an age old fight

But I don’t take no liberties because of my rights”  x 2

 

1. F   4. Bb   Born – down, in an Englishman’s car

With a mothers guitar

An American star is born

 

2. F    5. C     Down, where the tears do not cry

and a voice in her eyes. 

And accompanying sighs are born 

 

3. Ab   6. Db    Now  in the land of the free

As she wants it to be

But she’d rather believe in me

 

- “ well thanks very much, bye!

- “It's a free land, it's a price you pay"

 

The journalist is “just doing his job” which is to serve a two edged sword: 

making the star “canonised” as a superstar, and seeking to reveal they are “just human”.

 

3. GENTLE WORDS 

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

I sam Nachmonidies, he was talking to Miamonodies about “How come this terrible music’s being made, . and why is that, . and how come it gets bought....”

“The Rambam said – it’s because there’s... two market places out there!” 

 hmmmm   dad dum da dum     oh oh   

There’s a market for it because There’s people out there without a heart, and there’s people out there with a heart.

It’s not entirely true, more true is there’s a lot of people who keep their heart a secret. And sometimes it becomes ......a secret from themselves.

 

The only way I know how to tell the truth is through Gemara and art, but the new chemistry is marketing - The Ram baN said - and he did’nt like to be sold philosiphy - “you better not read this or you might get to near a climax of reality” he said in an American accent to the Miamonidies as he gave him a look in his Gemara, just after he compared New York to Isreal due to it’s finger snap style of living.

 

“Gentle words are the harshest” – “a secret from themselves” 

 

 

 

4. HEY YOU

Paul Avrom Toshner

F  Bb/G   F/A   Bb

I’m sorry that I came 

around and yelled at you 

without a sound

 

From the dark to the dark

My journey it seems

Wherefore art thou

in my dreams

 

When will you see me

Where are you now

My future is darker somehow

 

I’m sorry that I came 

around and yelled at you 

without a sound, hey you

 

What did you speak of

What was at stake

Reality, duality

My friend you’re a fake

 

What can be borne

when it’s torn!?

Even harder to mourn

impossible to hold

breaking the mould

 

Excuse me my rhyme

It’s how I now spend my time

I’m sure I’d feel a bit better

If I could refine

 

I’m sorry that I came 

around and yelled at you 

without a sound, hey you

 

The future’s unknown 

But it prays on my mind

if it’s the present I own

What’s the closing line

 

Lifting things 

we can not carry

Diamonds and rings

do not always marry

 

I’m sorry that I came 

around and yelled at you 

without a sound, hey you

 

 

5. TO NONE OTHER THAN ME

Paul Avrom Toshner

Am   Dm

 

Here’s a little song

“to none other than me”

 

Not scared of man;

not scared to be himself

 

I hear the train in the distance 

The world has gone quietly mad

It’s one thirty in the morning

things have never been quite so bad

 

I feel the hair on the back of my neck

the blood gone from my cheeks

I fear the abyss 

I didn’t expect this

 

The errors I made

Are being seriously paid

I went beyond to admit

So as to excuse all of it

 

Years of devotion

to none other than me

now I am a prisoner

To none other than me

 

No reason to lie, no reason to see

the Lord He is good

He wants you to be

Not scared of man

not scared to be himself

 

I have who to blame

confused by their game

I may even be wrong

But that’s me singing their song

 

This time it’s through

what must I do

I hope G-d will forgive me

I hope I forgive me too

 

What a fool I have been

Time and again I think I win

That wherever I am

I think perhaps I can

 

Scared of man:

scared to be himself

 

No reason to lie, no reason to see

the Lord He is good

He wants you to be

Not scared of man

not scared to be himself

 

Sorry, I love you 

but you have your issues

so much so what you do

selling hope 

strung together with tissues

 

Hard to live up to

harder to swallow

easily choked on

left feeling hollow

 

But blame, is a thing of the past

I own my own mess

Like I said at the start 

I have what to confess

 

Too scared of man:

too scared to be himself

 

No reason to lie, no reason to see

the Lord He is good

He wants you to be

Not scared of man

not scared to be himself

 

So if you think you're in a hole

or under duress

What will happen now

It’s anyone’s guess

 

Just don’t creep around in disguise

more and more lies

Till' you can safely say: 

That you rue the day

 

"Perhaps I will change

Though probably not

G-d help me to care

If that’s what I forgot.

I got scared of man

I  got scared of myself"

 

No reason to lie, no reason to see

the Lord He is good

He wants you to be

Not scared of man

not scared to be yourself

 

 

6. BURNED

Paul Avrom Toshner

Dd   F   F#  

Take me away for days on end

take me out of myself

Take me away I pray this will end 

can’t say I’m myself

Nothing I’ve told you was written down, 

still doesn’t mean I’ve come around 

I’m still the same as I used to be, 

If I could only hear your hope and faith in me

it makes me try, 

but then I don’t know why, 

I’d say I do

Oh, I’m sure it pleases you

hold me closer to your ideal

tell me how it feels

hold me closer, hi, so hi...

and then we say goodbye.

 

When things get a little tight 

I never said I could should

I never said I should

I only said I would

tell you “let me go away” 

tell me you’d rather I stay

One more try, one more faith

one more heart in it, one more gate

one more lesson in what I always learn

stand apart and get burned

 

If numbers are what are strong 

Bo you belong, heart beats!?

Doubt reins hi when tears fall for nothing

 

 

 

7. A MATTER OF TIME

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

Seems kind of odd

maybe I could blame G-d

but I know that’s not true

the only one I can blame is me

 

It’s so...

you’re so....

his soul...only a matter of time

 

his soul

his soul....only a matter of time

 

to never look back

rise above

don’t cry for pain

only love 

I’m so tired coz I’m so weak

time to sleep to find my feet

I know... You see the world 

that’s through my eyes

You know when I was weak

 

It’s only a matter of time ....

 

what I want to say sorry for

for what I am today

 

carefully chosen, and silently broken, 

and all of the time, I ignored that it’s open for interpretation

 

it’s open to be

I’m hoping to be

it’s open to me

 

It’s only a matter of time

It’s so only a matter of time

 

It’s so only a matter of time

 

 

 

8. THE WAITING LEAVES 

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

And the moment’s gone

and the moments go

and things you believe 

even the things you know

and the feelings come 

and the feelings stay

it’s just the way it goes every day

and the feeling grows

for the love u know 

 

and the waiting leaves

in the wind they blow

and the waitingleaves

in the wind it blows

and the waiting leaves

in the wind it blows

everybody knows  

everybody knows  

 

Sorry for not being what u need 

the most

Sorry not for being what you see 

when you toast

sorry for the times I yelled

even though it was only once

sorry for how I made you feel

always and forever

Sorry that we never forgot

Sorry that we never forgot

 

stay with me

sing with me

 

and the moment’s gone

moments go

the things you believe 

and the things you know

and the feelings come 

and the feelings stay

and the feeling grows

I love you

 

and the waiting leaves

and the waiting leaves

and the waiting leaves

and the wedding leaves

everybody knows  

 

Sorry for not being what u need 

when you needed the most

Sorry not for being what you say

when you raise a toast

sorry for the times I yelled

even though it was only once

always and forever

Sorry that I never thought

Sorry that we never forgot

 

 

9. IS SOMETHING FREE

Paul Avrom Toshner

Love will always be true 

sorry, what I’m doing to you

To sum it up 

what we had can not b

something free

not programmed 

 

can u hear me

do u believe me

did I show u

are u near me

are you uneasy

 

stare into silence and know 

if the person your with 

is the person your with

stare into silence or go 

is the person your with 

the person your with

 

Love will always only be true 

I’m sorry for what 

I must be doing to you

To sum it up 

what can not be:

is something free!

is something free?

is something, free!?

 

 

 

10. AN ARTIST - prologue

Paul Avrom Toshner

Cm/C-/B-/Bb    Gm   Fm   G    x:  C

Caug    Gaug/B   C  Fm/Eb   C    Fm - G - C      x 2

Eb Bb

 

An artist has to make some room

in everything he seems

taking that the higher lines are free

 

In the middle of the noise on a crowded day

I can hear myself and you know I want to say something

 

If an artist has to make some room

in everything he seams

tell me are the higher lines free

so we sang together,

we sang together, we sang alone

 

How it feels to be seen and known

For what you have, and what you let go, and let show

 

But how it feels to be dreaming though

Everything really quite sad

If you’re not glad for what you have

 

If an artist has to make some room

in everything he seams

tell me are the higher lines free

so we sang together,

we sang together, we sang alone

 

Finally letting go,

finally sitting down,

finally what I know

laughing a clown in town

 

He doesn’t care 

about the critical,

it’s too political,

or any cynical, lyrical visible 

melody

 

He cares about the sense of it,

He’s into the defence of it,

but not with violence, or silence, 

is he free

 

he doesn’t care about the surreptitious,

he’s into helping you get rid of the delicious,

junkie and monkey on your back

 

so we sang together,

we sang together, we sang alone

 

If an artist has to make some room

in everything he seams

tell me are the higher lines really free

 

 

 

11. THE VISITORS

Paul Avrom Toshner

Bb  Dm   Eb

 

What brings you to these parts my friend

Is their something you’ve lost

Has the wind been strong

Did you not belong

Was the ground awash with frost

 

Come in I say

Warm those feet of clay

We’re not all Vincent Van Gogh

 

Its been foretold 

That a colour less sold

(a colourless soul)

or the not so bolden rainbow

 

Gets to re-engage

Even centre stage

And somehow comes to pass

 

Or at very lease

doth find some peace

in what’s left of his ass

 

People die

things do change

if this is goodbye

it’s not so strange

not so strange at all

 

In the summer

my father comes south  

to visit the visitors

in the visitors windows

 

 

 

 

 

 

12. HEY AH!

Paul Avrom Toshner

(Chords in B part Paul Taylor)

E   F#m  x2

C# m   B  A   A

 

Hey, ahhh!

 

Life was full of choices

Now my head is full of voices

Things are what they are

Accepting it is hard

 

If I could change I would

What I want is good

Oh but how I’d undo

I’m talking to me not you

 

Hey, ahhh!

 

To upturn the very essence

The requirement is effervescence

Oh what will give me this

must I persist 

 

But failure is not fear

if it’s the only way to travel

If you know the why

The how is easy

 

Hey, ahhh!

 

do, not try

or only stop if your feeling queasy

 

Life was full of choices

Now my head is full of voices

Things are what they are

Accepting it is hard

 

If I could change I would

What I want is good

Oh but how I’d undo

I’m talking to me not you

 

Hey, ahhh!

 

But failure is not fear

if it’s the only way to travel

If you know the why

The how is easy

 

 

The journeys always here

If it’s a riddle to unravel 

 

If you know the why

The how may be easy

If you know the why

The how may be easy

But do, not try

or only stop if your feeling queasy

 

Hey, ahhh!

 

 

12. FAREWELL TO A FEELING

Paul Avrom Toshner

 

This is a farewell to a feeling

This is a farewell to the moment

this is goodbye for now

I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be

 

I did now sail well

I did feel the wind

I didn’t care 

if I loose or win

 

but soon I have to face

what’s waiting for me

and I really don’t want to go at all

 

This is farewell to a feeling

This is farewell to a moment

this is goodbye for now

I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be

 

Theirs is only one place for me

as far as I can see

what will be

I’d like to be

but doesn’t seem .... yet

 

and I find myself elsewhere,

“all is fair in love and war”

 

This is farewell to a feeling

This is farewell to the moment

this is goodbye for now

I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be

 

 

 

 

 

 

14. PAPER GUN

Paul Avrom Toshner & Mesoud Benasully

 

G   F   C   G

C   Dm   Dm   C

C   Dm - G   Dm - G   C

D   Em   Em   D

D   Em - A   Em - A   D

E   Em   Em   E

E   F#m - B   F#m - B   E

 

“There’s something needs to be done.

It's like something in you that says I need to do this.

And if I don't do anything else I know that I know that I know that I have to do this!” 

​Mesoud Benasully

...when someone has wronged you

that is their problem

but that it happened to you is your problem

that it happened to you is yours...

 

where have men been,

what have they become

Gun, paper gun paper gun

Gun, paper gun paper gone

soon they’ll be seeing the light

in fact I certainly hope 

we should be enjoying this 

together on the other side

Probably you prefer that I told you that I 

want to buy you pizza than I tell you I love you

then again depends on weather you have

an allergy to cheeze but nowadays you

can get tofu, tofu is an alternative to cheese

forget it, forget it, give up, don't do it,

don't do it to yourself, don't do it to your family

it's ok, good to love, good to look at other people, 

but you must understand yourself

ok, teach me how to eat sushi

...you don't have chopsticks

what is normal, we all ask that question

the funny thing is being unusual nowadays is so bloody 

normal that nobody really notices if you are unusual or not 

in fact being normal is much more unusual than being unusual

 

The synergy is what counts

where in lies the reality

how fickle we are, how tempted to the unknown

the gender makes no difference

 

​Singing a song, loving me, loving you back...

that’s what I'm thinking about

...nobody is going to change that

I'm talking about everybody’s coping about the same thing.

G-d bless you

hello Mr Appelbaum, I wonder whether or not

you'd like to come round and tell a story...

Of course you need to understand 

that we are working on a masterpiece...

when action is replaced with emotion

instead of going to do something silly

get it out on paper

then perhaps you'll calm down later

or maybe not it depends how much 

or how little self restraint you've got

 

Hope you are well, that's all I am saying

have a wonderful evening and whatever it is

you're not doing, don't do it for long

because if you don't do it what you're not doing

who knows what you'll end up doing

 

coz truth be told I am more bold

where you can not outrun

your hate, from love

that you thought so little of

as you laughed...at my paper gun

 

“I think every person at one point  in their lives

they had this strong feeling that they have to do something

about a situation, maybe they were raised in a way that they shouldn't,

I'm saying...something must be done” 

​Mesoud Benasully

Like a social misfit

you play the scene

“there’s  good and bad in everyone”

so you think you’ll come out clean

 

well I wont give you the pleasure

from me you wont get a rise.

Anyway you’re blissfully un-aware

of why you should be so despised

 

“never rub another mans rhubarb”

always good advice 

like "an eye for an eye

a tooth for a tooth"

there’s a price

so avert your gaze and a little less praise

yes avert your gaze and a little less praise

when temptation fires your ego.

you’ll notice in time

you’re not paying the fine

“Im all right jack” doesn’t cover the legal

 

but I am your enemy my friend

and until the bitter end

you are the reason

for my mindful treason

It's broken so what’s to mend!?

 

In hot and bloody cool disdain

you’ve justified most every lie

moriality can feign

 

the end was over before the war begun

when I left you weaving your only fun

 

twas pen and paper that used to be

my field of no retreat

but now I'm doing all I can

that we should never meet

 

Gun, paper gun paper gun

Gun, paper gum paper gone

Gun, paper gun paper gone

soon they’ll be seeing the light

 

“It's like one of those people that they need to climb Mt Everest

and it requires years of training and then facing the unknown up there

and so many people they have tried and they have failed

and some people even have lost their lives lo alianeo

I don't have more  words to conti....”

​Mesoud Benasully

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